Identity

“The only way you can counterbalance outside external pressures is to have an internal sense of satisfaction about who you are and who God made you to be. You discover who you are by knowing whose you are.”

-Rick Warren

At the beginning of this year, I took some time away from social media to gain some perspective and take a break from the noise.  Instead of consuming hundreds of pictures on Instagram every day, I held my son. Instead of reading every tweet in my Twitter feed, I had conversations with my wife. Where I would normally waste my day away glaring at my phone, I spent some much needed time in prayer and reading the word.  I also didn’t post anything for awhile.  Part of the reason I stepped away from the madness was that I was becoming too dependent on the approval of others, whether it be likes, new followers, retweets, or responses. Deep down these things don’t really matter to me but I found myself caring more and more. I love being able to share with the circle of people around me, but I don’t want to care about status or recognition. But a lot of the time, I can’t help it.

I’ve always struggled with how people view me.  Growing up, I wanted everyone to like me.  It would tear me up inside if I knew someone had a problem with me or was angered by something I did.  Even as a 28 year old grown man I still have the same insecurities.  Being in the music industry does it to me sometimes.  Do I dress cool enough?  Am I skinny enough?  Do people like me for me or for the company I keep?  Can I keep up with the demands of being on stage? Am I being a good friend to people? Husband? Dad? I have struggled with the topic of self worth for some time now.  This internal battle of the heart can drag you down and take you under.

Today, I just wanted to encourage you and let you know that if you have these insecurities, you are not alone.  There are so many people in the world who share the same story.  Our society puts pressure on us to become something we are not. The stress of trying to keep up with everyone else is so defeating and joy stealing. The only way for you and I to compete with our insecurity is to find our identity. Our identity is what defines us.  If we lose our identity, we become lifeless and wavering.

If we have lost our identity, how do we find it again?  I believe we always go to Jesus.  In Matthew 8:12 he said, “I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Jesus defines himself in this verse.  He knew who He was.  In order to figure out who we are, we must first realize whose we are.  We were created by God, for God and are loved by Him.

Whenever you feel the pressure to keep up with the people around you, remember that you are not defined by those people.  Your worth is the Lord.

Whenever you feel tempted to look to other people for affirmation, look to Jesus.  You may never be able to look down on the world from the top, but in His eyes you are his finest creation.

Whenever you are bogged down by the world and the people in it, reach for Him and He will pull you out of the darkness.

Perspective is everything.  Taking a step back, catching your breath, and refocusing your journey will help you when these questions of self-worth creep in to your mind. You are a treasure in the eyes of God and that is all that matters.

I pray against the pressures and stress of not feeling good enough or worthy enough.  I have tried to limit my time on social media too.  Not giving life to things we struggle with is one way to help defeat the voice in our head that tells us we aren’t good enough.  May we refocus our eyes on the things that matter, seeing life and the people around us through the eyes of our Maker.

Psalm 19

The Perfect Revelation of the Lord

Psalm 19 (NKJV)

1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
2 Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
3 There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
4 Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.
In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun,
5 Which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
And rejoices like a strong man to run its race.
6 Its rising is from one end of heaven,
And its circuit to the other end;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.
7 The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;
8 The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;
9 The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.
10 More to be desired are they than gold,
Yea, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
11 Moreover by them Your servant is warned,
And in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can understand his errors?
Cleanse me from secret faults.
13 Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;
Let them not have dominion over me.
Then I shall be blameless,
And I shall be innocent of great transgression.
14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Self-Control

When is the last time you turned your phone off for an extended amount of time? If you’re anything like me, it is very hard to function without a phone. My life pretty much centers around that little device. All of my contacts are there, my calendar is organized inside, and I keep a lot of my music on there. Plus, I have unlimited information at my disposal at all times. It seems like the greatest thing in the world, but I am getting burnt out by it.

I didn’t get my first cell phone until I was in 10th grade and that’s all it was; a phone. It didn’t surf the web, had no calendar, no music, and 50 text messages a month. Who needs text messaging? It will never catch on. I remember the day when we all actually talked on the phone. I would stay up super late, free nights and weekends, talking to my friends or girlfriend at the time about nothing. Sounds boring, right? For some reason, it wasn’t. It was all we knew. I remember even before that when all we had was a house phone and you had to talk to my parents before you talked to me. You always wondered if someone was listening in on the phone in the other room.

I remember using the family desktop computer in our house to surf the web and talk on AOL Instant Messenger. It was hard to sneak into the computer room and talk to my friends because the dial-up internet would wake everyone in the house up. But if I wanted to check my email, see what was happening on my new MySpace page, or talk to my buddies, I had to go start-up the old desktop.

Today, we have everything at our finger tips, because our computer goes with us. We have become dependent on our phones. We don’t need to retain any knowledge because everything we need to know is a Google search away. Now instead of a phone call, we have 7 or 8 ways to contact someone without actually having to hear their voice. I can text you, email you, Facebook you, Tweet you, comment on your Instagram, Snapchat you, Skype you, or Poke you. I’m sure there are many more.

I miss real conversation. Because of social media, we have forgotten how to genuinely connect with people. I understand that social media has made it possible for us to keep in touch with people all over the world, but it has gotten somewhat out of control. I know it has its pros but I believe the cons are taking over.

Our phones are in our hands at all times. We are on them when we drive, when we are walking down the street, when we should be listening to our spouses, when we should be playing with our kids, and when we should be enjoying a concert and not recording the whole thing to show our friends the “experience” we “experienced”. We cannot put them down. We have to know who is posting pictures, who is tweeting, and what the breaking news is. All these things can wait! Life is happening all around and we are looking at a small screen. Seems ridiculous.

I can’t imagine having the technological power we have today back when I was in middle school and high school. Our children are living in difficult days. Temptation, in every form, is in our children’s pocket every day. We put a cell phone in their hands and now even though you can get a hold of them at all times, they now can text their friends anything they want, they can be on social media all day long, and they have access to adult content with one touch on their phone browser. I understand there are safety reasons for children having phones. With anything, there’s the good and the bad but too much of anything can be a bad thing. I feel that we might be giving our youth too much freedom.

Social media and technology makes what I do for a living much easier. I can type a 140 character paragraph and it reaches thousands of people instantly. That wasn’t an option back in the day. So I am appreciative of what the technology does. I am just nervous about what it is doing to us as a generation. I know technology is impossible to stop. It is only going to change and evolve into something even more accessible to us, so what can we do to protect ourselves and our children from living a life chained to our electronic devices?

Self-control. It sounds simpler than it is, but I believe its our best shot against total defeat. We don’t need to be on our phones all the time. The email you are checking and the tweets you are reading will still be there next time you log on. So even though you have unlimited access to your Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, set boundaries for yourself. Give yourself a set time in the day to check these apps. Turn off your push notifications. Take a break from status updates and likes. Do something else instead to take your mind off of your phone.

If your struggle lies more in the content you are looking it, there are many ways to fight against your temptations. Put up road blocks for yourself. You can put a password on your device or browser as a distraction. There are also safe browsers you can download that will filter images and words that could cause you to stumble. I don’t know what your thing is, but I know we all struggle with something.

If you have children, get involved now. Even if you think your child is a saint, he or she WILL encounter temptation and I can almost guarantee it will involve a phone or computer. We live in a different world where anything and everything you could ever imagine can be found through a simple web search. Our kids are doing things on their phones that we would have never imagined doing when we were younger. Kids are smarter than ever and because of that, they need guidance. I’m not a parent so I am not telling you how to raise your kids. Please don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t long ago when I was a kid struggling with things that I was embarrassed to tell my parents about. It happens. But you have so much power as a parent to invest in your kids future as a young adult. Be relational with your kids. Hug them, talk to them face to face, and show them the example of self-control so they can win this generation back for good.

I don’t know where this whole idea came from. It’s just some random thoughts I have been having. All I know is I am thankful for life and hands on experiences. I’ll never forget riding a bike for the first time, learning piano, holding hands for the first time, and kissing my wife on our wedding day. I don’t need social media to remember these things. God gave us eyes, a heart, and a brain. I pray that even though iPhones rule the world, we won’t forget Who is in control and that we were created to live life with our eyes open to the world around us.

If you like a challenge, try not checking social media for a week. Or even a day. Take the control back. Let us practice self-control so that we may be better equipped to have meaningful conversation and real life experiences.

Okay, I’m finished. Computer…off.

Motivation

It has been awhile since I have written a blog.  I used to write all the time, whether it be on here or in my journal.  In the last few months, something has happened to me and I have become unmotivated to do a lot of things.  When the New Year rolls around, we are all supposed to be more inspired to get our act together and become better versions of ourselves.  I believe the opposite happened to me.  It was unintentional, but I took a backseat to the world and became uninspired.  Life was happening all around me and though it was beautiful, I was oblivious to it all.  I found myself fighting for joy and closing up.  I never really asked for help or tried talking through things.  Instead, I just put on a smile and acted as if everything was fine.

I tried to move forward but laziness crept in and I gave in to complacency.  This can be a very dangerous place to be.  The more you let life pass by without interacting with it, the more you lose confidence in yourself and you become unmotivated to do anything.  When I was younger, I was very outgoing and wide eyed.  I never met a stranger.  Now I have to fight harder to be social.  I have moments when everything is great and feel like I could talk to anyone. Then there are times when I take the backseat and allow everyone around me to shake hands with life while I just watch.  It is one of my biggest struggles.  I think as we grow up, we actually have to work hard to interact with the world around us.  There’s a part of me that loves being alone.  I think that is healthy at times.  But if we never engage with people and work towards community and relationships, we will never grow.

I’m not sure if you have ever felt any of these things in your life, but I’m sure you can relate in some way.  It may be interacting with people, laziness, complacency, or it may be not feeling confident in your own skin.  Whatever you’re struggle may be, I want to encourage you to talk to someone about what you’re going through.  I believe that God places people in our lives that can walk with us when we are in that place of need.  Sometimes that person is right around the corner and you just need to start the conversation.  Other times, it may be that you are doing okay but a friend needs to hear from you.  They could be too scared or stubborn to ask for help.  I think its important to know that we all go through the valley at times.  If we stand close to the ones we love, the waves may hit us, but they are less likely to take us under.

I feel so much better than I did at the first of the year.  The small things that you allow to get you down, grow and grow and become big problems that are hard to compete with. But I am fighting hard and looking up.  I am thankful to have great friends in my life that walk me through the good and the bad days. Everybody needs a support system to help them when times are tough.  If you don’t have that, I  encourage you to seek those people out.  Maybe its just one friend that you call once a week and you talk about how you all are doing.  Or maybe you get together with a group, grab coffee and just talk about life.  I don’t know what will work for you but as the great Solomon Burke once said, “Everybody needs somebody to love.”

Be love and be a friend.  Someone is counting on you.  Open up and let someone in.  You’ll feel better when you do. ( <——I unintentionally rhyme all the time.)

Josh

Inspiration

Inspiration is hard to obtain. I believe you can force yourself into it, but true revelation is rare. That’s what makes it remarkable when it comes.

What inspires you?

A New Perspective

There are lots of things about life that I do not understand. Life has become so busy for most of us and the more hectic it gets, the more distracted we become. When I allow myself to stop, take a moment and catch my breath, real life comes back into focus and I finally see life for what it really is: all about Him.

This may sound crazy to you. But I’m going to say it anyway so bear with me. Sometimes, when I really try hard to focus, I can zoom out of whatever situation I am in and see life from a different vantage point. I try to take a bird’s eye view of how God sees His creation. We view our lives in first person, seeing things through our own eyes and minds. Imagine though if we could view ourselves in third person, where you are almost peeking in to see yourself doing your normal daily routine. You watch yourself drive to work, eat lunch, hang out with friends, and do whatever else it is you do, all from the outside looking in. In first person, you see what you want to see. If your eyes don’t go look at something, in your mind it probably didn’t happen. Like a tree falling in a forest, if you’re not there to hear it fall, who says it made a sound? From the outside looking in though, we see everything. We even see the things we don’t want to see. If you were looking in on my life, first off, you would probably be super bored with me. But even more than that, you would see things that would upset you, let you down, and maybe even break your heart. My sin can get the best of me. From a fly on the wall point of view, I would probably disappoint you. Actually, I know I would.

Have you ever thought about how God sees us? He looks down at us and sees the good, the bad, and the in between. He peers into the window of our hearts and sees everything. If you are like me, it is kinda crazy to know that someone is watching at all times. But the reason why it is weird is because my perspective is out of focus. When I center my focus on myself, it seems as though I am in control. I can do and say whatever I want, when I want with no consequences. But when I turn my focus towards Him and realize what life is really all about, I begin to see clearer the perfect picture He is painting. When my perspective and identity is seen through the eyes of Christ, I don’t want to be in control. Knowing the truth, should make us want to run to what is holy. There is no need to hide when we fall, for He knows it all. We are going to mess up, but knowing our struggle, and gaining perspective, causes us to depend on God’s grace. Our main goal should not be perfection, but a greater dependency in the one true God. Dependency in Christ leads to a life that is led by the spirit, rooted in the word, and focused on Him. When we allow ourselves to zoom out and see life for what it really is, I believe we gain a better understanding of our place in this beautiful story. A story with so many flawed characters that only a perfect author could weave it all together for His glory and for His fame.

I want to live the rest of my days looking up, knowing that life is not about me. As we learn to depend on Christ, we should take heart knowing that our trust is not placed in something or someone that can let us down. Our eyes are fixed on the One true God who is able to deliver and rescue just as He promised. I pray we take the focus away from ourselves and place our trust in the only One who is worthy of it all.

Europe in Hipstamatic

This summer, NEEDTOBREATHE traveled overseas for a European tour.  We visited several countries including France, Ireland, Scotland, and England.  I had only been to London once before so I was extremely excited about playing shows and exploring all these amazing places.  I used Hipstamatic to take these pictures of our trip.  Hope you enjoy!

Driven

Being in an independent band is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you can do as an artist.  You are on your own for pretty much everything and in order to “make it” you have to play all the time, anywhere and everywhere people will have you.  One of the most important things I have done in my life was being a part of the band Driven from 2004-2009.  This blog is about the guys and experiences that made me into the person I am today.

I graduated high school in 2003 and immediately after that, Josh Jordan and I went to work for a summer mission camp in Florida for 10 weeks. Josh (Yoda if you know him by that nickname) and I had been friends for years and played in a couple of different bands throughout middle school and high school.  We traveled to Florida in my green Ford Contour, packed to the brim with guitars, luggage, and snacks.  I learned a lot that summer about ministry, people and definitely music.  After that, we both decided that we weren’t going to stop until music was our jobs.

Josh Henderson and I went to middle school and high school together.  We played little league baseball together too.  I wasn’t a very good athlete.  I was normally in left field kicking dirt and writing songs in my head.  Josh (Bobby if you know him by that nickname) was always one of the best players on the team.  Not only was he great at sports but he had character, and I always wanted to be just like him.

After Yoda and I returned from Florida, I called Bobby and asked him if he had ever played an instrument.  He said no but sounded interested.  So we went to a pawn shop, bought a bass, and he played his first show a week later.  He was a natural and became one of the best bass players I know.  He was in choir in high school so he knew music.  Jensen Cornelius was also in choir and had been a friend of ours for a long time.  He joined the band, playing percussion and some keys.  Once again, never played an instrument.  I was also giving guitar lessons at the time to a 15 year old wiz kid named Anthony Chapman.  He joined the band too but was only around for a little while.  He was very young and needed to finish school.  Still one of the most talented guys I know.

Dylan Martin has always been the guy behind the scenes making things happen.  Even in high school, he was the guy that could fix anything or had knowledge about anything and everything sound/tech.  He was also the guy behind the scenes giving me relationship advice, often being the middle man between me and my girlfriend at the time.  He was always there to fix it.  We became best friends really quickly.  When we started traveling, he had an interest in speaking so he came on the road as sound tech/speaker/road manager/everything else.  We couldn’t have done what we did without him.  He was always right there, encouraging us and getting things done.

We met Kirk Wynn through a church in Corryton where he was playing drums.  I saw him play in high school and thought he was one of the best drummers I had ever heard.  When the position became available in Driven, I started calling around to get his number.  When I got it, I called and asked him if he might be interested in trying out for the band.  We were leaving for a mission trip to the Bahamas the next week so I asked him if he wanted to go on that too.  He said no.  I think I freaked him out.  But he did join the band.  We did a photo shoot with him before we ever played together.

From 2004-2009, we did more than most independent bands our age could do.  We played almost 75 shows a year across the United States, were house bands at 4 different churches weekly, did a 10 week camp together as staff/band, did several crusades and retreats, recorded 2 studio albums and a live DVD, and started Consumed Ministries, organizing mission projects throughout the South.

We didn’t have a van or bus.  Every weekend, we were calling around borrowing our parents car, friend’s SUV, or a van from one of our churches.  My church let us use their trailer and we overloaded it with our gear.  There were many trips where I didn’t know if we would make it.  Whether it be travel arrangements or money, God always provided.  There were many nights where we would all be on our faces, praying that we would always keep our focus and perspective.  We loved music, but the ministry is what kept us going.  We got to see God do some amazing things during those years, and I will never be the same.

I just wanted to write this blog to say thanks to anybody and everybody that was involved in helping Driven/Consumed Ministries do what we did.  We were young and naive but I think that’s what made it great.  We didn’t know any better so we went after it with everything we had.  I still talk about the experiences we shared and the people we met.  It was a special thing to be a part of.

We spent a lot of time in the mountains at Wa-Floy retreat in Cosby, TN.  We did several church retreats and songwriting retreats there.  During a band devotion at one of those retreats, we tore a dollar bill into equal pieces and passed them out to every member of the band.  We wrote a date on it, 10 years from that day.  On October 1, 2014, we are going to go back to that little chapel in the woods with our families to reflect on these years and spend time together again.  I look forward to this day more than anything and wouldn’t miss it for the world.

The Deep End

The ocean can be a scary place, and yet it is one of the most visited places in the world. People come from all over to lay on the beach, get a tan, relax and enjoy the calm and peaceful waves. But with one single boat that passes by, those calm and peaceful waves can be shifted into towering monsters, taking out anything in their way. All my life, I’ve never been a big fan of the ocean. I love going to the beach but swimming where I couldn’t see the bottom kinda freaked me out. Maybe its all those shark movies and TV shows where you see the guy’s feet from underwater while the shark stealthily swims below waiting to attack. I think its just the unknown that makes me stay closer to shore.

I feel like this can be a good picture of how we are sometimes with God. We love living for God if that means playing in the shallow end or being lazy on the beach. Just enough of God to get our feet wet. But when it comes to the deep end of the ocean, we don’t know what is out there and we are too scared to find out. So we live careful lives without risk.

I heard an interesting statistic recently. 1 out of every 1 person dies. The odds of you dying are pretty good. For some reason we are so scared of what death means for us, that we play it safe and don’t do the things we are created to do. We are called to the deep end. This is where true life is found. If you never leave the beach, and always wade in the shallow end, you will only experience a small taste of what God has for you. Living in the “deep end” of life could ultimately lead you to your death. It did for Jesus too. And he was only 33.

Sometimes I fear that some of our churches have also built their foundation on the beach, too weak to ever withstand the crashing waves of the ocean. Pastors, rise up and lead your church into the ocean head on. Church, love ALL people. Serve ALL people. Do more than you feel you are required to do. You are the light for the darkness around you. If you don’t shine, the people around you may never clearly see the Beauty that is in you. The ocean is filled with those that have never experienced the grace of God. The reason why you are living and breathing on this earth is to tell them. And so many of us at times, including myself, swim in puddles and never really live outside our “quiet times”.

I don’t know everybody by name that may read these blogs. I’m sure not everybody that reads this shares the same faith views that I have. And that is okay. The reason why I write is to share what is on my heart. Sometimes its pointless blabber that only I find interesting. Other times, its me sharing what music I’m listening to. But sometimes, like today, it is a call to action, for myself and you the reader to live life to the fullest. I believe in a God whose ways are vast and deep. His love never fails even when we fail Him. I mess up all the time and it amazes me that He never sees me differently. There have been times in my life when I have gone weeks without talking to Him, and yet when I finally speak, He listens. Every time.

Are you living out your life’s purpose? If the answer is no, then why not?

I pray that we will learn to live in the unknown, unshaken by the crashing waves that try to take us down. God is not small and boring. Just like the ocean, He’s complex and mighty. Beauty and power flow in and through Him like a hurricane, swallowing up everything is its path. There is no need to fear though. Because the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in those who trust in Him. He invites us to live life in the deep end, where risk and purpose collide.

“I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 1:19-20

Something Different

I sat down to write a blog since I haven’t written one in awhile.  I always have a lot on my mind but today I felt like doing something different.

So instead of writing whatever I was going to write, I am going to ask you to do something.  Take the time that you were going to spend reading this blog and do something that matters.  It could be praying, calling a friend to catch up, spending time with the ones you love, going and kissing your husband/wife/kids, or just sitting in silence without your Facebook news feed in front of you.  We waste so much time and energy on things that will not last.  Let’s do intentional things that really matter.

I have lots of things to share with you, and I’ll get to them one day.  But for now, I’m going to go kiss my wife instead.  Have a great Sunday!

-Josh